Hey Pumkin, I miss you so very very much. This Christmas is so hard without you here. Last Christmas was our last one together, remember the fun we had trying to put up that old tree. You and I had to redneck the hell out of that thing. We had to make braces out of old curtain rods and we duck taped the crap out of it, I think we used a whole roll just to make it stand...lol You were so cute running around in your pajamas and santa hat saying come on daddy we can fix it, it'll last one more year.Well sweetie we did it, we made it work. If it hadnt been for your pushing me i would have gave up and just threw it out. Thank you pumkin, I love you!!!! This Christmas I had decided not to buy and put up a tree, I just couldnt take the pain but I kept hearing you tell me to put one up so I did. Pumkin I know you were here but it still took me 3 days to put it up. This time it was just me all alone putting it up but every ornimate i hung i saw you hanging one too and when i put the Angel on top I felt you kiss me on the cheek and heard you say Merry Christmas Daddy. I fell to my knees right then and cried just as I am now. For those people that have told me time and time again that it will get easier in time, I say to them Bullshit!! The pain hasnt stopped or eased. the nightmares of going thru her mangled car or seeing her in the hospital or the funeral havnt stopped.I have even had dreams where I was in the car with Brittney, saw the truck coming but not in time, I saw it all in my dreams. Those of you that have lost a child i'm sure know what im talking about and feeling and those that havent I pray you never know this pain but please dont tell me that everything will be alright anymore. I love you Brittney Lynn. Merry Christmas my sweet Angel, I have your Christmas tree up.