Well another New Year's Eve without a call from you at Midnight wishing me a Happy New Year! Just like last year, I kept thinking that your ringtone would ring at any second telling me to have a happy new year and that you love me. But again, it didn't happen. I think each day I come more to realize that this horrible nightmare is really true and that you are gone. Coming to the realization is the hardest thing that I have been through since your death. I think all this time I have thought in the back of my mind that it really didn't happen and that you were going to come back to me any day and tell me "just kidding," but it hasn't happened and I know that it will not ever happen. I miss you more and more each day and each holiday without you is harder and harder to get through. I love you with all my heart and wish that people were right when they say that the pain will get easier in time. The problem is that they are so wrong. No way will this pain ever get easier to deal with. I just want my baby girl and bestie here with me everyday! I love you now and always!!